1. Why to love oneself or the other so difficult? What creates the barrier in love and how to overcome it?
Answer: The barrier to love is fear. Either fear is the master, or love. When fear is the master, it leads into a downward spiral of protection and closure. When love is the master, it leads to an ascending spiral of let go and openness. To overcome fear, we need to face it and embrace it, allowing ourselves to express what lies at the roots of it. The moment we face it, there is an automatic melting of the fear into love. Love is our natural state. Normally, Fear is a biological response to a life threatening situation. Human beings have become warped into an almost continuous state of fear based fight or flight response, which is unnatural. This state is what we call stress. It is unnecessary to live in stress, and we can change this tendency easily through meditation. Osho's technique, 'Becoming the Emotion' is excellent for this.
And, on the subject of loving oneself or another, it is important to understand that it is impossible to love someone else if you do not first love yourself. When you love yourself, you become lovable. If you are disgusted with yourself, you will appear disgusting to others. Life is a mirror. The other is a mirror. See who you are in the mirror, and if you don't like your reflection, then turn around and face yourself, and search for your beauty, your divinity, your joy. If you can learn to follow your bliss, you will automatically attract love into your life.
2. How to accept and adapt in an everchanging world? How to bring acceptance. Please share a technique.
Answer: There is a beautiful method from the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra: "When in worldly activity, keep attention between two breaths, and so practising, in a few days be born anew." This technique is meant to be practiced while you are in the midst of life, working, or other worldly activities. It is very simple, and by practicing it continuously for a few days, you will be amazed at the results. It brings a detachment, as if you have become spectator of a rather humorous theater play. Try it! Then you will know what the ancients have been saying, the world is Leela, God's Play!
When in worldly activity, keep attention between the two breaths…forget breaths… keep attention in between. One breath has come: before it returns, before it is exhaled out, there is the gap, the interval. One breath has gone out; before it is taken in again, the gap. In worldly activity keep attention between the two breaths, and so practicing in a few days, be born anew. But this has to be done continuously. That is why this is mentioned: When in worldly activity... Whatsoever you are doing, keep your attention in the gap between the two breaths. But it must be practiced while in activity.
We have discussed one technique that is just similar. Now there is only this difference that this has to be practiced while in worldly activity. Do not practice it in isolation. This practice is to be done while you are doing something else. You are eating -- go on eating and be attentive of the gap. You are walking -- go on walking and be attentive of the gap. You are going to sleep -- lie down, let sleep come, but you go on being attentive of the gap. Why in activity? Because activity distracts the mind, activity calls for your attention again and again. Do not be distracted, be fixed at the gap. And do not stop activity, let the activity continue. You will have two layers of existence -- doing and being.
We have two layers of existence: the world of doing and the world of being; the circumference and the center. Go on working on the periphery, on the circumference; do not stop it. But go on working attentively on the center also. What will happen? Your activity will become an acting, as if you are playing a part.
You are playing a part -- for example, in a drama. You have become Ram or you have become Christ. You go on acting as Christ or as Ram, and still you remain yourself. In the center, you know who you are; on the periphery you go on acting as Ram, Christ or anyone. You know you are not Ram -- you are acting. You know who you are. Your attention is centered in you; your activity continues on the circumference.
If this method is practiced, your whole life will become a long drama. You will be an actor playing roles, but constantly centered in the gap. If you forget the gap then you are not playing roles, you have become the role. Then it is not a drama; you have mistaken it as life. That is what we have done. Everyone thinks he is living life. It is not life, it is just a role -- a part which has been given to you by the society, by the circumstances, by the culture, by the tradition, the country, the situation. You have been given a role and you are playing it; you have become identified with it. To break that identification there is this technique.
(Vigyan Bhairav Tantra)
The Book of Secrets, Vol-1, Ch-5
Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita
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