“Surrender” by Prem Geet C 2011
This month let us celebrate the Grand letter G, first letter of God, Girlfriend, and Gold.
Everyone is dating or married to God. These relationships may be distant and robotic, or really hot and connected. These commitments may be real or farcical. These interactions may be from the socially conditioned part of you or the deepest center of your individual heart. And all real love for GOD is essentially romantic love because the devotional heart is in love with Nature and all of Her shapes, colors, sounds, and movements. Everything is beautiful to a bhakti—-from changing skies to the tones of a sincere voice. From a baby’s wise stare to an autumn leaf spinning to the ground, every nuance of Creation is drenched in beauty.
To worship is as natural breathing. As yoginis and breathworkers know, we can breathe in a restricted way or we can really open up and let the prana, the Holy Spirit in our breath, do a deep cleaning inside of us. As human beings, worship is our primary role. We innately must worship and adore something we perceive as higher, better, or stronger than ourselves. In the commercial world of business, we want things described as adverbs “better, faster, cheaper.” In the spiritual domain, we thirst for nouns that defy adverbs, as Immortal Babaji highlighted: “Truth, Love, Simplicity,” or, perhaps, these qualities are thirsting for us.
I have always felt that sex was prayer, a way of mining for spiritual gold. I was actually looking for god in the men I was blessed to love. Silly…but how often are we disappointed when our mates behave as less than god? Loaded with GOD naturally, highly-sexed people are conduits of high creative energy. Driven by hormones, our youthful desire to have lots of sex can be misguided or misinterpreted. Most certainly a high sexual charge with someone promises that we might find god-gold “in” there. And often we do find GOD in them, and they do find GOD in us. But can we sustain GOD in the relationship after sex? As I get older, my attention naturally turns from the urge to merge with another-- to the urge to merge with Self. Most days there is nothing sweeter than to just be with my own breath. I am no longer hungry to find GOD outside of me.
I have the god and the gold inside, only a breath away.
When you are all alone for long periods of time, you realize you are not alone at all. In fact, you are Love’s Lover. You realize your own Being is enough to be with, ample, infinite, and beautiful. I know aloneness, loneliness, and the greatly to be desired state of all-oneness and at-one-ment. I invented Alone Cologne, the scintillating perfume for one, the Alone Phone where you have a lively chat with yourself, Bologna Alone sandwich for one, Mingle Single Club for one, Solitary Solitaire card game, movies for one, gastronomically ecstatic meals for one, loner holidays, and comedian monologues for one rapt listener who laughs at all my jokes. I have spent so much time all-one that at times my silence can be a loud bell at a party. In toxic corporate environments, I risked being branded as a “GWP…a Gentle Weird Person,” a label reserved for those nice people who rarely talk and almost never do mandatory chit-chat. I’m not into gossip unless it’s truly shocking. Most of the time I would rather just breathe and think about Osho and the sutras! I accept aloneness!
In the words of Beloved Osho: “We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Aloneness is our very nature, but we are not aware of it. Because we are not aware of it, we remain strangers to ourselves, and instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness. Loneliness is a misunderstood aloneness. Once you misunderstand your aloneness as loneliness, the whole context changes.”
Once I dropped the social conditioning and the idea that it was bad to be alone, I realized aloneness was the ultimate freedom. I honored what Master Osho called the need for freedom, something many of us repress. I dated armies of men and could not settle. Looking to the vast horizon, I waited for Bhagwan even before I knew Him! Even in the dating game, I listened to the sky. I did not want to maneuver my life around anyone’s unexamined limitations. It pains me to see a partner roaming inside of invisible structures that make him less than who he really is. Commitment seemed to mean that I could not grow beyond the limits of someone else’s cage. My thirst for seeking was always stronger than security. I love Osho’s words:
“Aloneness has a beauty and grandeur, a positivity; loneliness is poor, negative, dark, dismal. Everybody is running away from loneliness. It is like a wound; it hurts. To escape from it, the only way is to be in a crowd, to become part of a society, to have friends, to create a family, to have husbands and wives, to have children. In this crowd, the basic effort is that you will be able to forget your loneliness. But nobody has ever succeeded in forgetting it. That which is natural to you, you can try to ignore -- but you cannot forget it; it will assert again and again.”
I have searched high and low for The One. Through Bhagwan’s grace, I found my soul mate everywhere. And for now, I am very happy being god’s girlfriend.
Ma Prem Geet loves Osho meditations for new levels of aliveness and peace. Contact her at email@example.com