Our so-called education makes people sad and serious. And if one third of your life is wasted in a university in being sad and serious, it becomes ingrained; you forget the language of laughter -- and the man who forgets the language of laughter has forgotten much of life.

So love, laughter, and an acquaintance with life and its wonders, its mysteries... these birds singing in the trees should not go unheard. The trees and the flowers and the stars should have a connection with your heart. The sunrise and the sunset will not be just outside things -- they should be something inner, too.
OSHO
The Golden Future, Chapter-23

1. Two Jews arrive at the pearly gates of heaven and ask Saint Peter if they can come in.
"Certainly not!" says Saint Peter, "We don't allow your sort in here. Get lost!"
He then goes to tell Jesus proudly what he has done. Jesus becomes furious.
"Peter!" he shouts, "You can't do that! Quick, go and get them back." Saint Peter runs off and comes back a few minutes later, puffing.
"They have gone!" he says.
"Who? The Jews?" asks Jesus.
"No," gasps Saint Peter, "the pearly gates."

2. A priest visiting a small village asked a young boy to direct him to the church where he was going to preach that evening. After the boy had given him directions, the priest said, "You must come along tonight, and bring all your friends."
"What for?" asked the boy.
"Because I will tell you how to get to heaven."
"You must be joking," laughed the boy. "You did not even know how to get to the church."

3. Man 1: My son does not listen to anything that I say. 
Man 2: Is he so adamant? 
Man 1: No, he is deaf. 
Man1: Your kid just looks like you. 
Man2: Shhh, not so loud. That's the next door lady's kid. 

4. Little Johnny was filling a hole in the garden when his neighbour looked over the fence and asked "What are you doing here, son? "I"ve just buried my goldfish; it died" replied Little Johnny tearfully. "That is a mighty large hole you dug for a goldfish" said the neighbour. Patting down the last bit of earth, Little Johnny said "That"s because my goldfish is inside your stupid cat". 

5. Ben got 100 out of 100 in the exam. So the teacher gave him a gift and said, 
I hope you will do the same in the next exam.' 
Ben: Thank you Sir. I hope you will also print the question paper from my uncle’s printing shop next time. 

6. A husband comes home one night and tells his wife: 
“I won a million dollars today!” 
“No way! Are they for real?” 
They checked the money and concluded that the money is real. 
“Get your things!” said the man. 
“Which one of them? My winter clothes or my summer ones?” 
“All of them!” 
The enthusiastic woman runs all over the house packing her things and when she’s done she quietly awaits new orders. 
“And now what?” 
“Now get lost!” 

7. They sat by the candlelight having dinner in the luxury restaurant. 
He said: "Wine does a lot of things. It makes you look beautiful, charming and attractive". 
She said: "but dear, I haven't been drinking" 
He said: "I know, but I have been". 

8. Wife woke up her husband in the middle of the night and told him, "Dear, there seems to be a burglar in the house. Wake up." 
But her husband refused to go out and investigate. 
Wife: "Why are you scared? I thought you were brave when you married me" 
Husband: "Well yes, that's what my friends said too."