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 Religion remains something dead without a sense of humor as a foundation to it. God would not have been able to create the world if he had no sense of humor. God is not serious at all. Seriousness is a state of disease; humor is health. Love, laughter, life, they are aspects of the same energy.
But for centuries people have been told that God is very serious. These people were pathological. They created a serious God, they projected a serious God, out of their own pathology. And we have worshipped these people as saints. They were not saints. They needed great awakening; they were fast asleep in their seriousness. They needed laughter -- that would have helped them more than all their prayers and fasting; that would have cleansed their souls in a far better way than all their ascetic practices. They did not need more scriptures, more theologies; they needed only the capacity to laugh at the beautiful absurdity of life. It is ecstatically absurd. It is not a rational phenomenon; it is utterly irrational.
OSHO
Ah, This,
Chapter- 5
1. Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
2. Three dead bodies of Indian politicians turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The medical examiner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.
"He was a BJP leader, 65 years of age, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the medical examiner.
The Detective Inspector is taken to the second dead man.
"He was a minister from ruling Congress party, was 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Nothing unusual here", thinks the Inspector, and asks to be shown the last body.
"Ah," says the medical examiner. "This is the most unusual one. MP from Bihar, 60, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?` inquires the Inspector.
To which the medical officer replies, "He thought he was having his picture taken."
3. A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
4. At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
5. The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying, "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense."
The judge asked, "What new evidence could you have?"
The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra Rs.5,00,000, and I just found out about it!"
6.
In the traffic court a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light.
She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time.
A wild gleam came into the judge's eyes.
"You're a school teacher, eh?" he said. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a school teacher in this court. Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not drive through red lights' 500 times!"
7.
Customer: I'd like to buy some dog food.
Salesman: Do you have a dog?
Customer: Yes.
Salesman: Where is he?
Customer: He's at home.
Salesman: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the same customer returns.
Customer: I'd like to buy some cat food.
Salesman: Do you have a cat?
Customer: Yes.
Salesman: Well…where is she?
Customer: She's at home!
Salesman: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the customer returns again.
Salesman: What's in the sack?
Customer: Put your hand inside.
Salesman: Hmmm…It's warm and moist! What is it?
Customer: I would like to buy some toilet paper. |
