Oshodham & Osho World Galleria : Online Magazine - Feb 15 - March 15, 2013
Personality - Toxic or Nourishing

[A sannyasin says: I feel I have a legacy of laziness and escapism. Either I don't feel energy, or if I do, I find it difficult to just completely let go. I feel a control.]

I feel it is somewhere and has become part of your bio-computer. The mind functions as a computer, and we go on feeding it attitudes. They go on accumulating there and by and by they become deeply ingrained. Personalities can be divided into two categories -- one psychologists call the T personality, toxic, and the other they call the N personality, nourishing.

A toxic personality is always looking at things in a negative way. The whole world view of the toxic personality is depressing, sad. The toxic personality hides in beautiful faces. A perfectionist is a toxic personality. You cannot say that something is wrong in a perfectionist, but the whole idea of being a perfectionist is to find errors, mistakes, loopholes. It is a trick. You cannot find any fault with a man who looks for perfection, but in fact that is not his goal; perfection is a device. He wants to look at loopholes, mistakes, errors, anything that is missing, and this is the best way -- to keep a goal of perfection so that he can compare them with the ideal and always condemn.

This toxic personality always thinks of that which is not and never looks at that which is, so discontent becomes natural. A toxic personality poisons his own being; not only that -- he drips poison.

It can be a heritage. If you have lived with people in your childhood who had a negative attitude towards life .... It may be hiding in glowing terms, beautiful language, ideals, heaven, God, religion, the soul; they can use beautiful words, but they are simply trying ... and they talk about the other world just to condemn this one. They are not concerned with the other world. They have no interests in saints, but just to prove that others are sinners, they will talk about saints.

It is a very morbid attitude. They will say, 'Become like Jesus.' They are not interested in Jesus at all. If Jesus were there they would be the last person to go to him, but just to condemn you, this is their device. You cannot become Jesus, so you become a victim. They always condemn you. They create values, moralities, puritan attitudes. They are the moralists, the moralisers; they are the great poisoners of the world.

And they are everywhere. These people tend to become teachers, educationalists, professors, vice-chancellors, saints, bishops, popes; they tend to become these things because then they can condemn. They are even ready to sacrifice everything if they are just allowed the joy of condemning others. They are everywhere, hiding in many ways. And they are always doing things for your good, for your own good, so you are defenceless against them. Their heritage is real, big. They have dominated the whole history.

These people immediately become dominators. Their very ideology helps them to dominate because they can become condemnators. And they talk in rational terms. Rationalism is also part of the T personality. They are very argumentative . . . very difficult to defeat them in argumentation. They are never reasonable, but they are always rational.

And one must know the distinction between a reasonable man and a rational man. A reasonable man is never only rational, because a reasonable man knows by experience that life has both -- the rational and the irrational; that life has both -- reason and feeling, the mind and the heart.

A reasonable man is reasonable. A rational man is never reasonable. He forces logic on life -- and logic can be perfect; life can never be. He always looks to the ideal, and he tries to force life to follow the ideal. He never looks into life and the reality of life. His ideals are against life.

The second personality, the N personality, the nourishing personality, is totally different. It has no ideals, really. It just looks into life and the reality decides its ideal. It is very reasonable. It is never perfectionistic; it is wholistic but never a perfectionist. And it always looks on the good side of things. The N personality is always hopeful, radiant, adventurous, trusting, not condemnatory. These are the people who become poets, painters, musicians.

If an N type person becomes a saint, then there is a real saint. If a T type person becomes a saint, there is a false saint, a pseudo-saint. If an N type person becomes a father, then there is a real father. If an N type person becomes a mother, there is real mothering. A T type is a pseudo father and a pseudo mother. That is just a trick to exploit the child, to torture, to dominate, possess and to crush the child, to feel powerful by crushing the child. The T type is in the majority, so you may be right that you are carrying a heritage everybody is. But once you become a,ware, there is not much of a problem. You can travel from T to N very easily.

A few things to remember. If you feel lazy, don't call it laziness. Listen to your nature; maybe that's what fits you. That's what I call a reasonable man. What can you do? If laziness comes to you, then that's what you have to do. Who are you to decide against it? And how can you win against it? Even in your fight you will be lazy. Who is going to win? You will be constantly defeated, and then you will feel unnecessarily miserable.

Be realistic. Listen to your own being. Everybody has his own pace. A few people are very active, rushing; nothing is wrong in it. If they feel good in it, it is good for them.

Just a few nights ago one person was saying that he is always rushing. If he has a chance, he likes to run rather than walk. He jumps up stairs, two, three steps together. His wife goes on telling him to drop his restlessness, so his wife has created a guilt in him -- that he is doing something wrong. But I saw that the man is perfectly healthy and happy, so I said, 'Don't listen to your wife. If you are feeling good, then run; nothing is wrong in it. It is your natural pace.'

He said, 'There is my daughter who is very lazy. She is just the opposite to me, and my wife is against her also because she takes so much time in just doing small things.' Now this wife must be a T personality.
The Passion for the Impossible, Chapter-4