Oshodham & Osho World Galleria : Online Magazine - Dec 15, 2012 - Jan 15, 2013

A silence without laughter is dead, and a laughter without silence is superficial. When silence and laughter are together... it is something phenomenal, something of tremendous importance.

1. The orthopedic surgeon Joe work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.
Joe sat the display skeleton in the front of his car, his bony arm across the back of his seat. Joe hadn't considered the drive across town.
At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside him became obvious, and he looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of his window, "I hate to tell you," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

2. A pub's closing and a totally plastered customer struggles to get to the door, then to walk home, despite only living a few hundred yards from there.
He literally crawls on the pavement all the way back home, drags himself up the stairs and eventually reaches his bed after two hours.
He wakes up the next morning, and his wife tells him, "You were really drunk last night weren't you?"
"Yeah, why? How do you know?"
"You left your wheelchair at the pub."

3. A retired man, who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals, went to one local hospital and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."
One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

4. Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check.
He handed it to Leon, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."

5. When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" the doctor asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," the doctor said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed, "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"

6. A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.
She jumped up and slapped him.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."