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81
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LISTEN TO OSHO SPEAK ON THIS MEDITATION
AS,
SUBJECTIVELY, LETTER FLOW INTO WORDS AND WORDS INTO SENTENCES, AND
AS, OBJECTIVELY, CIRCLES FLOW INTO WORLDS AND WORLDS INTO PRINCIPLES,
FIND AT LAST THESE CONVERGING IN OUR BEING
That too is an imaginative technique. The ego is always
afraid -- afraid of being vulnerable, open; afraid something may enter
and destroy it. So the ego creates a citadel around it; you start
living in a walled prison. Nothing should be allowed to enter in you.
You are afraid -- if something comes in and disturbs, then what to
do? -- so it is better not to allow anything to come in. All communication
stops. Even with those you love or you think that you love, there
is no communication.
Look
at a wife and husband talking. They are not talking to each other;
there is no communication. Rather, they are avoiding each other through
words. They are talking so that the communication can be avoided.
In silence they will become vulnerable, in silence they will come
closer, because in silence the ego, the wall, will not be there. So
the husband and wife, they will never be silent. They will be talking
about something or other just to fill in time, and just so as not
to be open to each other. We are so afraid of the other.
I have heard about Mulla Nasrudin, that one day
as he was just walking out of his house his wife said, `Nasrudin,
have you forgotten what day today is?'
Nasrudin knew about it -- it was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary
-- so he said, `I know it. I know it well.'
The wife persisted, `Then how are we going to celebrate it?'
So Nasrudin said, `Darling, I don't know.' And then he scratched his
head, puzzled, and said, `How would it be if we keep two minutes'
silence to celebrate it?'
You cannot remain silent with someone; you begin to feel restlessness.
In silence, the other enters you. You are open, your doors are open,
your windows are open. You are afraid. You go on talking, you go on
creating devices to remain closed.
The
ego is an enclosure, it is a prison, and the prison is accepted because
we feel so insecure. The prison gives a certain feeling of security:
you are protected, guarded. To do this technique, this third technique,
the first and most basic thing is: know well that life is insecurity.
There is no way to make it secure. Whatsoever you do is not going
to help. You can create only a fiction of security -- life remains
insecure. It is the very nature of it, because death is involved in
it, so how can life be secure?
And
think for a moment: if life is really secure, it will be already dead.
An absolutely totally secure life cannot be alive, because the very
adventure is lost. If you are protected from all dangers you will
be dead. In the very being of life there is adventure, danger, insecurity.
Death is involved.
I
love you. I have entered a dangerous path. Now nothing can be secure,
but now I will try to make everything secure. For tomorrow, I will
kill everything that is alive, because only then can I feel secure
tomorrow also. Love is transformed into marriage -- marriage is a
security. Love is insecure -- the next moment everything can change.
And you have invested so much, and in the next moment the beloved
leaves you, or the friend leaves you, and you are left in a vacuum.
Love is insecure. You cannot fix the future, you cannot predict. So
live is killed and a secure substitute is found -- that is marriage.
With
marriage you can be secure; it is predictable. The wife will be your
wife the next day; the husband will be your husband in the future
also -- but just because you have secured it. And now there is no
danger. It is dead. The relationship is dead now, because only dead
things can be permanent; alive things are bound to be changing. Change
is the very quality of life, and in change is insecurity.
Those
who want to enter deeper realms of life must be ready to be insecure,
must be ready to be in danger, must be ready to move into the unknown,
and must not try in any way to fix the future. The very effort will
kill everything. And remember this also: that insecurity is not only
alive, it is beautiful. Security is dull, ugly. Insecurity is alive
and beautiful. You can be secure if you close your doors and windows
and everything. Neither light enters nor air enters; no one enters.
You are secure in a way, but you are not living, you have already
entered your tomb.
This
technique is possible if you are vulnerable, open, not afraid, because
this technique is allowing the whole universe to enter in you.
AS,
SUBJECTIVELY,
LETTERS
FLOW INTO WORDS AND WORDS INTO SENTENCES,
AND
AS, OBJECTIVELY,
CIRCLES
FLOW INTO WORLDS AND WORLDS INTO PRINCIPLES,
FIND
AT LAST THESE CONVERGING IN OUR BEING.
Everything
converging in my being... I am standing under the open sky, and the
whole existence, from everywhere, from every nook and corner, is converging
in me -- your ego cannot exist. In that openness where the whole existence
is converging in you, you cannot exist as an I. You will exist as
an open space, but not as a crystallized I.
To
do this technique start with a small step. Just sit under a tree.
The breeze is blowing and the leaves of the tree are rustling. The
wind touches you, it moves around you, it passes. But don't allow
it just to pass you; allow it to move within you and pass through
you. Just close your eyes, and as it is passing through the tree and
there is a rustling of the leaves, feel that you are also like a tree,
open, and the wind is blowing through you -- not by your side but
right through you.
The
rustling of the tree will enter in you, and you will feel that from
every pore of your body the air is passing. It is really passing through
you. It is not only imagination, it is a fact -- you have forgotten.
You are not only breathing through the nose, you are breathing through
the whole body -- from every pore of it, from millions of pores. If
you are allowed to breathe through your nose, but all the pores of
your body are closed, painted, you will die within three hours. You
cannot be alive just by breathing through the nose. Every cell of
your body is a living organism, and every cell is breathing. The air
is really passing through you, but you have lost the contact. So sit
under a tree and feel.
In
the beginning it will look like imagination, but soon it will turn
into a reality. It is a reality -- that the air is passing through
you. Then sit under a rising sun, and not only feel that the rays
of the sun are touching you, but that they are entering you and passing
through you, so you become vulnerable, you begin to feel open.
And
this can be done with everything. For example, I am speaking here
and you are hearing me. You can hear just through the ears, or you
can hear through the whole of the body. You can just try it right
here, just with a change of the emphasis: you are not hearing my words
through the ears only, you are hearing me through the whole of your
body. And when you really hear, and when you really listen, it is
the whole body that listens. It is not only a part, it is not a fragmented
energy that listens, it is the whole of you. The whole of your body
is involved in listening -- then my words are passing through you;
from every cell, from every pore, you are drinking them. They are
being absorbed from everywhere.
You
can do this. Just go and sit in a temple. Many worshippers will be
coming and going, and the bell of the temple will be hit again and
again. Just listen with the whole of your body. The bell is ringing
and the whole temple is agog; every wall of it is reflecting. To reflect
this, in order to feel that the sound is converging on you, we created
a round shape. So from everywhere the sound is thrown back, it converges
upon you from everywhere, and you can listen to it through your whole
body -- every pore, every cell, listening, drinking, absorbing it,
and it is passing through you. You have become porous; everywhere
the door is open. You are not a barrier now to anything -- the air,
or the words, or the sound, or the rays, or anything. You are not
a barrier, you don't resist anything.
When
you come to feel that now you don't resist, you are not in a struggle,
suddenly you will become aware that the ego is not there, because
the ego exists only when you struggle. It is a resistance. Whenever
you say no, the ego comes into existence; whenever you say yes, the
ego is not there. So I call a man an ASTIK, a real theist, who has
said yes to the whole existence; there is no `no' in him, no resistance.
He accepts everything, he allows everything to happen. Even if death
comes, he will not close his door. The doors will remain open.
This
openness has to be brought, only then can you do this technique, because
this technique is saying that the whole existence is falling, converging
on you -- no resistance, welcoming, allowing it to converge. You will
simply disappear, you will become a space, infinite space, because
this infinite universe cannot converge on such a narrow atomic thing
as the ego. It can converge only when you have become infinite like
it, when you have yourself become an infinite space. But this happens.
Slowly you have to become more and more sensitive and you have to
become aware of your resistances.
We
are very resistant. If I touch you, you can feel that you are resisting
the touch, you are creating a barrier, so my warmth cannot enter you,
my touch cannot enter you. We don't allow each other to touch. If
someone touches you, you become alert and the other says `Excuse me'.
There is resistance everywhere. If I look at you, you resist, because
the look can enter in you, it can penetrate deep, it can stir you,
and then what will you do?
And
this is not only with strangers. There is no need even with strangers,
because no one is a stranger or everyone is a stranger. Just by living
under one roof, how can the strangeness be destroyed? Do you know
your father who has given you birth? He is a stranger. Do you know
your mother? She remains a stranger. So either everyone is a stranger,
nor no one is a stranger. But we are afraid and create barriers everywhere.
These barriers make us insensitive; then nothing can enter into us.
People
come to me and they say, `No one loves. No one loves me.' And I touch
that man and I feel he is afraid even of touch. There is a subtle
withdrawal. I take his hand in my hand and he has withdrawn. He is
not there in the hand; only a dead thing is in my hand -- he has withdrawn.
And he says, `No one loves me.' How can anyone love you? And even
if the whole world loves, you will not feel it, because you are closed.
Love cannot enter you; there is no gate, no door. And you are suffering
in your own prison.
If
the ego is there, you are closed -- for love, for meditation, for
God. So first try to be more sensitive, more vulnerable, open, allowing
things to happen to you. Only then can the divine happen, because
that is the last happening. If you cannot allow ordinary things to
happen to you, how can you allow the ultimate? Because when the ultimate
happens to you, you will be no more. You will be simply no more.
Kabir
has said, `When I was seeking you, you were not there. And now, when
you are there, where is that seeker Kabir? He is no more. So what
type of meeting is this?' Kabir wonders, `What type of meeting is
this? When I was there, the divine was not. Now the divine is there,
but I am not. So what type of meeting is this?'
But
really this is the only meeting, because two cannot meet. Ordinarily
we think two are needed to meet -- how will the meeting be there if
there is only one? So the ordinary logic says that for a meeting at
least two are needed, the other is needed. But for a real meeting,
for a meeting which we call love, for a meeting which we call prayer,
for a meeting which we call samadhi, ecstasy, one is needed. When
the seeker is there, the sought is not; and when the sought has come,
the seeker has disappeared.
Why
is this so? -- because the ego is the barrier. When you feel you are,
you are so much that nothing can enter in you. You are filled with
your own self. When you are not, then everything can pass through
you. You have become so vast that even the divine can pass through
you. The whole existence is now ready to pass through you, because
you are ready.
So
the whole art of religion is how not to be, how to dissolve, how to
surrender, how to become an open space.

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